I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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