I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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