I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
