dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
