I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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