That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
where does the pee come out of this thing
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
