Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize