The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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