I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
