Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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