It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's blow job season.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
