i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
