yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
