Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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