We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
