I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize