I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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