Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
