so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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