They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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