You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
