I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
