that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
