Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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