Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
