They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
