i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
