So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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