All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
