Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize