Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!