I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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