I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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