why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize