yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
