I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
