Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
