Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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