dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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