I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
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Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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