are you so shy because you have an std?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
