smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
