and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
