So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
