I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
