yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
