I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?