i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
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I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
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SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"