I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad