So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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