But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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