Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
