i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
