can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
