He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i've created a new STD.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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