i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
