Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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