if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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