I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
