the day after is always just damage control
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
