Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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