Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
