Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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