Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
