plz talk dirty to me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
