I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
