We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
