omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
