There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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